Liv-ing Dead Girl
by Anna Lane
Summary: Liv is self-isolated after the events of the S1 finale and gets in over her head when she tries to solve a case on her own. Good thing Ravi is there to help her out. And so is...Blaine? Ch 8: Epilogue now posted: Liv has dinner with Ravi's mother.
1. This is Your Brain on Drugs

She was dancing with her eyes closed, her mouth open and showing off her crooked smirk with her head tilted up. Anyone who looked at her would think she had to have ingested something dubious if she was having as much fun as she looked like she was having as she thrashed to the metal beat in a club so popular it had to be at least 63 people past occupancy, despite the fact that RUBY CIRCUS practically reinvented the word _seedy_. And she _was_ on something radical and completely illegal, just not quite what anyone would have expected.

Jeremy Pivons. Overdose. Died last week with the very same raptured smile on his face. It had taken Liv 3 hours and 16 minutes to dig him up and break into his coffin. She was getting better at it.

She was getting better at living the kind of lifestyle that had her up mornings, tending the patrons of Luella's diner and had her spending her nights alternately at the club or uprooting the graves of the freshly dead to steal and eat their brains. It sounds bad, but she found that the younger the dead, the better. It made the club scene more tolerable, more enjoyable, and that was where she spent all of her free time.

Apart from being across from the diner where she worked, Ruby Circus was next door to the apartment complex where she rented a tiny box to shower and change clothes. The set-up of a club next to an apartment building didn't make sense to her, but she didn't mind. It's not like she found sleep anymore, anyway.

Currently, she wasn't sure if she was having fun or if Jeremy's thoughts and feelings were having their last hurrah with her body. Olivia sidled up to a black-haired beauty and felt her heart skip as the girl gyrated against her. Perhaps it was one and the same, now.

The brunette's name was Amanda, and she'd had a thing with Jeremy, but that wasn't saying much, she'd had a thing with everyone. Liv had managed to avoid leaving with the other girl thus far, much to Amanda's befuddlement. Liv grinned and nibbled her ear very lightly. Her dizzy head and Jeremy's brain were messing with her judgment, making her less cautious. One sharp push from anyone in the overcrowded club and Liv's teeth might scrape the other girl's skin just enough. Liv fought through her haze just enough to switch to using her lips.

Because although Liv had turned her back on her friends, her family, her life, she wasn't about to make another zombie. She'd learned that the hard way. And now she was stuck pasty and washed-out. She was currently dying 'roots' into her hair so that anyone who saw her would just think she'd missed a bleach session. She couldn't bring herself to just dye her hair. It fit too well with her new life along with the heavy eye makeup and black couture.

Amanda's sweat was starting to dampen Liv through her thin black cotton tank top and she pulled away to let the hot air between them. Upon raising her eyes, she swore she saw a familiar blond head. She grasped Amanda's shoulders too tightly as she gasped. "That man," Liv panted. "Do you see him?" Olivia wanted to be sure he wasn't part of some paranoid hallucination on Jeremy's strung-out brain. It wouldn't have been the first time in the past two months. But this was different, Liv could tell.

Amanda jerked out of Liv's painful grip and turned away, not hearing anything she'd said over the thumping music. Say anything about Amanda, but she knew when to ditch someone on a bad trip. Smart. Liv strained to see his pale face again, but it was like he'd disappeared. Liv stumbled back into an almost faint, but the crowd closed in too tightly to actually let her fall.

She wasn't sure if it was her heart pounding in her chest or if the fast-paced thrum of the music was just hitting her deep. The lights blurred like shooting stars in her eyes as she let the crowd move her in the dark club. A wave of euphoria came over her and it was the best she'd felt since dying. Liv recognized that Jeremy's brain was taking over, trapped in a memory of his last high, but she was finding it so hard to care. Because the death didn't matter, not Jeremy's, and not her undead life or her mom or her friends and certainly not Major. She didn't need any of them. Not if she could feel _this_ good without them.

Cool hands found her neck, then lips as they slid down her sides and wrapped close around her waist. Before she could begin to say 'no,' sharp teeth pierced her neck and she cried out.

"There, there," a familiar voice said.

Liv shuddered as she felt the cold lips smirk at her neck. She tried to think beyond the effects of Jeremy's brain. She wanted to push out of Blaine's arms, but the crowd pushed them so closely together she couldn't even pull back enough to see his face. She couldn't risk going full-on zombie in a crowd like this—and she wasn't sure she was even capable of it when her head felt like it was on a different level than her body.

"That wasn't very nice, what you did to me," Blaine murmured against her neck.

Liv squeezed her eyes shut as she started to feel sick. "If you miss it so much, why don't you get someone to change you back?" She wasn't sure the words came out right. She'd needed to concentrate on each one.

"Don't you think I've tried everything?" Liv felt his slimy tongue lap at something warm that had dripped down her neck. "You've really changed the game, Liv."

"I—" She couldn't see anything with her face buried in his chest, wasn't aware of the knee digging into her hip from behind or the elbow jabbing into her side from the right. All she felt was the breath at her neck where Blaine stood.

Her head began to swim so much that she couldn't even force out a cry of pain. She grasped his shoulders and fought to remain conscious and upright. The last thing she remembered feeling was the stinging of a needle in her arm and a vision flashed before her.

 _Fingers with chipped pin nail polish, slim and shaking, as they slowly pushed a needle into my—Jeremy's—arm and pressed the plunger._

Liv fell forward into a chest. It seemed even Zombies could overdose.


	2. Goodness Gracious Me Oh My Grandma Brain

"Liv, Liv!"

A voice half dragged, half carried her down stone steps in the cool night air. "Stop shaking me!" Liv pleaded as she dry heaved over a railing.

"Get that goddamn druggie out of here!" A gruff man at the top of the stairs called out. She flipped him off before she realized who it was. Joe. Joe the bouncer. Her knees _gave_ out and she started retching again.

"C'mon, Liv."

She tried to protest, but the mere act of concentration on standing made her every muscle seize painfully. So she stopped trying. Her last awareness was of Ravi's arms hardly catching the top half of her body before she was completely sprawled out on the ground as she lost coherence for the second time that evening.

* * *

She woke up to the feel of a needle sliding out of her arm, prompting a repeat flash of her earlier vision. _Dim room. Possibly a motel, that same unsteady hand finding one of Jeremy's veins._ The memory was hazy and the vision hurt like a knife to the temporal lobe.

Reruns had never happened before. Crack brains. Who knew they'd be so different?

She panted and finally managed to get her eyes open. Ravi was transferring her blood to a vial for testing. "How did you find me?" She demanded.

"Oh, are we using our words now? No more grunting, groaning, eerie glowing red eyes?" Ravi asked lightly. "Good, I thought Major was going to put a bullet into you last night. Some people shouldn't own guns," he said casually.

"I –" Liv tried to move and found herself shackled to a bed. Ravi's bed. At Major's, if the wall paper was any indication. She glared and Ravi took off his gloves before plucking a key out of his lab coat. It would've been cute to know he kept an extra coat and gloves at his apartment if he hadn't also apparently kept a pair of hand cuffs.

Ravi bent over to her hand, but instead of freeing her, took her hand in his. "Liv, we need to talk."

Liv turned away from his earnest face and caught herself in the mirror. She was paler than usual, and although her eyes were now naturally gaunt, the black sludge of the makeup she'd donned for the club was now completely smeared. A brand new, yet already healed, ring gleamed against her lower lip on the right. The makeup and the piercing were part of the person she became at the club. One who could be pale and dark-eyed, with platinum hair, because it was a choice, or a statement, or whatever. And she fit in. Granted, it was with a bunch of fringe society strangers, but it was something.

But, seeing herself in the mirror of her old home she never thought she looked _more_ like a monster than when she was only supposed to be playing pretend for the club.

Ravi saw that she made no effort to converse, but decided to free her anyway. She noticed the cut across his eyebrow as she sat up. He looked afraid she'd bolt. He must not know how messed up Jeremy's brain still had her feeling. She doubted she'd be steady enough on her feet to make it to the door in any quick amount of time.

"It's been three months," Ravi prompted.

"Ravi –" her voice broke saying his name. It felt like the first true thing she'd said in months. "I have to go," a lie.

"I know what happened to your brother and with Major and Blaine. I get it. But it's time to come home."

"I can't." Liv coughed through her dry throat and fought a shiver.

"Here, drink this."

Liv accepted what looked like a shake and took a huge gulp. "Uh, what is that?"

"A bit of grandma to boost your spirits and clear your head. Your initial blood test showed quite the cocktail of drugs in your system, including Max Rager. If you were human…" Ravi shrugged flippantly. "This new blood test should show significant improvement."

Liv frowned. "What do you mean that should 'already show improvement?' Did you already give me... _food_?"

"I sort of chopped up little pieces and dropped them into your mouth," he demonstrated.

"Ravi!"

"I had to calm you down somehow. And let me tell you, I did not enjoy it. That much." He smiled fondly. "I always wanted to be the person to feed the lions at the zoo. It was sort of like—" he saw her face and stopped.

Liv ignored him and got up and stretched a little. The sore hips were either from the drugs or Grandma. "Did I really go crazy last night?"

"Yep," Ravi grinned. "Thought you were gonna break straight through the chains." He sounded almost proud. "It subsided once I started feeding you bits of grandma brains."

"Did I—" Liv raised a hand to her own eyebrow and let Ravi see her concern.

"No, not you. A tweaker at the club. You were mostly snarling and snapping."

"And Major…heard me?"

Ravi's face softened. "He didn't see anything. I wouldn't let him. I was afraid he'd–" Ravi stopped.

Liv took a couple limping steps.

"You're not going back there—"

"Ravi, you don't understand!"

"Like bloody hell I don't, Olivia Moore! You were freaked from Major, Blaine and your brother, riding high on angsty teenager brains. I understand why you left, but you are not going back there without me."

Liv's eyes flew to his at the last two words of his sentence. "What?"

Ravi smirked, his eyes twinkling along with a spec of fresh blood still seeping from his bruised brow. "I know why you left, Olivia Moore, and I know why you've stayed gone."

Excited now, he went to his dresser and pulled a pile of newspaper clippings and printed news articles from under a single sock. "Martha 'Caty' Stevens, 28. Overdose. Anora Black, 22. Overdose. Blake Smith, 25. Overdose. Jose Rivera, 32. Overdose. And lastly, Jeremy Pivons, 29. Overdose." One by one, he let them fall onto the bed.

Liv ran her hand along the edge of the picture on Jeremy's obituary. "You missed a few," she said softly. "Kasey Tombs, 20. Suspicious fire. Ariana Lopez, 27. Threw herself off a bridge. No prior signs of depression, a happy girl, by all accounts. Her brother, Diego, went missing when he started asking around and there hasn't been any sight of him since. Who knows how many I haven't found, how many go unreported?"

"Liv, you can't be personally responsible for all of the lost souls of Tacoma. You're needed where you were, in Seattle."

"Ravi, don't you see? Someone's killing people and trying to make it look accidental."

"So, you've – what? Gone undercover?" Ravi looked skeptical, but he still seemed a little exited at the idea.

Liv still stroked Jeremy's picture clippings. "That still doesn't explain how you knew."

Ravi flipped Jeremy's obituary over. The headline read TACOMA GRAVEDIGGER.

Olivia groaned, having missed that particular featurette. "I was being careful."

"You took the heart of one, the lungs of the other, a liver, all with little pieces of brain," he could hardly speak through the dimples that appeared. "Tacoma PD think they're looking for a deranged scientist trying to recreate Frankenstein's Monster." He surveyed the papers sprawled across his sheets with inappropriate glee. "And it's not like Tacoma's halfway across the world, Liv. It's not even an hour away."

She narrowed her eyes. "But you knew my _exact_ location."

"Please, Clive isn't only _your_ friend, you know." He gave her that insufferable grin. "Also, you forgot to turn off your location on the 'find my friends' app on your phone. I've known where you were for months."

Her mouth dropped open and she didn't know what to say.

He put his hand on her shoulder sympathetically. "I thought you might need some time, Liv. But you need to come back, now."

Liv sat back down on the bed in defeat. "I've been at this for months and the most I've managed is getting to know these guys before they're murdered." She flipped the article back to Jeremy's face. "And the visions don't help. All I see is someone's hand – a different hand every time, delivering the final does of whatever drug is doing this to them."

"So it is murder…and by forcible overdose? How can you be sure it isn't just an accident?" Ravi came closer.

Liv had to let the paper slip from her hand and drift back to the bed before she crushed it in her fist. "I don't know. It's unintentional, maybe? The visions are useless. Not to mention painful and fragmented."

"Turns out druggie brains aren't the most fun to tiptoe around in, huh?" Ravi grinned.

Liv looked at him sharply. "They don't deserve to be murdered."

"Of course not, Liv." Ravi grabbed her arm as he looked into her messy eyes. "And that's why I'm going to help you catch whoever's doing this. I just want to know how you're so sure that there's a someone to catch."

Liv pulled back her hair. "I can't explain…it's just a feeling." She didn't want to tell him what she really thought.

"Right, very convincing. So, do you have any theories?"

"At first, I thought they were being murdered in pairs because of the times of their deaths, but I asked around and none of these victims really knew each other. Most hadn't even met."

Ravi picked up Jeremy's obituary. "You knew this boy?"

"He came into the diner. He may have been an addict, but he….he was just lost. He didn't deserve…no one does."

"You worked at a diner?" He fought the twitch of his lips and failed.

"Ravi, this is dangerous—"

"And you need backup," he said, leaving no room argument. "And I _have_ to get you back at work as soon as possible. The interns are killing me."

Liv gave a small smile, but she didn't say anything.

Ravi hesitated before he spoke next. "Liv, you're trying to find Blaine, aren't you?"

Liv looked away. "I did find him. At the club, Ravi. I know he's behind this. He's the one who gave me the drugs. Besides the stuff Jeremy was on, I mean."

"Liv, that wasn't Blaine."

"What are you talking about? He talked to me. And then he stabbed me with a needle." She felt the spot, but of course, there was no wound.

Ravi was adamant. "I did see someone inject you with something, but it was a big guy. Tattoos all over. You collapsed on him. It wasn't Blaine."

"It was dark, Ravi. And crowded. You might have missed him, but I saw him."

He tapped his forehead. "Well, I felt the guy who drugged you slam his fist into my forehead when I tried to get you away from him. And if the bouncer hadn't thrown us out when he did, I might be sporting a brand-new broken-to-bits nose."

"That's...impossible." Liv felt the left side of her neck. It still felt tender, despite the lack of marks.

Ravi tilted his head in thought. "Well, you were pretty out of it. Could it have been a hallucination?"

"Ravi, I – " She took a breath. "Do you really think that's possible? It wouldn't be the first time someone's brain messed with mine."

"I do seem to recall you demanding to see a _Mr. Cuddles_ while in zombie mode. It was actually quite terrifying."

Liv found she only blushed these days if she'd recently fed. As it was, she felt her cheeks glow a nice grandma rose color as she thought about the stuffed plush alligator of her youth (and maybe, still sometimes, her adulthood).

"I guess we should proceed with caution. You can help, but I won't put you in danger."

"You don't have a choice," he said cheerfully. "I'm blackmailing you."

"You'd tell the world I'm a zombie?"

"What? Of course not. I've got exclusive rights to you." He gave her a low-lashed look. "But the person who helped your brother? My mother happens to be the same blood type, so…"

"Ravi! That was your mother?" Liv hadn't thought much about the stranger who'd donated beyond the initial relief she'd felt upon learning that her brother was going to be okay.

"The one and only. And, well, I had to tell her it was my girlfriend's brother to get her to help," he said, spreading his arms.

"She thinks she helped Peyton's brother?"

Ravi grimaced. "Ugh, not exactly, here's where the blackmail part kicks in. She thinks _you_ ," he waved his hand in Liv's direction helpfully, "are my girlfriend."

"Why would you do that? Peyton will be pissed. She already hates me for being a zombie!"

"See, my mother," he laughed nervously, "absolutely _hates_ Peyton and I told her about _you_ to make her happy." He smiled as if anything he said made sense.

"No one hates Peyton." Liv said.

"See, I get that. As a very pro-Peyton guy, I definitely would agree with that statement. Except for the fact that my mother does."

"Why?"

"Well, how to explain Mama Ravi's dislike of the lovely Peyton Charles? I believe the words 'snobby,' 'entitled,' and 'bossy' were her chosen arsenal."

"They just got off on the wrong foot," Liv said.

"Yes, I agree. Except Peyton – I didn't want to tell her and upset her –"

"Peyton doesn't know your mom –?"

"–but I also didn't want to upset mother, so I told her about my new, sweet-natured, agreeable, and deathly-pale girlfriend."

"Ravi, how could you?!"

"And she wants to have dinner soon. She's beginning to get suspicious that she hasn't seen you yet in three months."

"Ravi, I can't do that to Peyton."

"Blackmail, remember? This is the woman who saved your brother's life. Can't you make her happy with this one thing?"

Liv frowned, but didn't say anything.

"Also, I told her you were open to converting to Hinduism."

Ravi was out of the door before Liv even had the chance to throw something at him.


	3. Major Brain Kill

Liv looked at herself in Ravi's mirror and tried to mop up some of the black smudged makeup with her sleeve. Then she tried to comb through her hair with her fingers, but just managed to streak her hair with the makeup. It looked like sludge in her fine, white hair and she desperately hoped no one but Ravi would see her like this.

Unfortunately, Major was waiting for her in the hall, leaning casually against the door to his room.

The gun his hand currently rested on, hidden in the band of his jeans and covered by his brown jacket, however, was anything but casual.

She wanted to bask in the hurt or be angry that Major's feelings for her had changed so much, but she couldn't. And if Ravi hadn't been there to help her and restrain her last night – he might have had to shoot her. And she would be thankful for that outcome, because it was a better fate than living with the knowledge that she'd raged out and killed someone.

She shoved her hands nervously in her red leather jacket before facing him.

"You okay?" He tried to smile lightly, but the lines around his mouth were too tight to pull off anything truly friendly.

Liv wanted to remind him that she'd always be sick, because the cure was given to him. And Blaine. But she nodded and attempted the same smile in return.

For the first time ever she was _afraid_ of Major Lilywhite. The good guy Prince Charming man of her dreams _Major_. The one she'd felt safest with, who was now her mortal enemy, technically, as a self-proclaimed zombie hunter. Liv's smile took on a more ironic twist after that thought.

He didn't seem to understand that the people Blaine turned were almost all just like her – scared, alone and dependent on doing disgusting things just to stay themselves. They were victims, not lucky enough to find a job as a morgue assistant, not lucky enough to have a friend like Ravi in their life.

"Major-," she was about to explain or argue or apologize or something, but she didn't know how to make him see. They stared at each other.

"C'mon, Liv. Chop chop, Tacoma awaits." Ravi paused as he came back up the stairs to see them still in awkward pre-conversation mode. "Er, but a few more minutes won't hurt." He promptly twisted his heels and started back down the stairs.

"What's in Tacoma?" major looked way too interested, and the hand, which had somewhat relaxed as they'd looked at each other, twitched back into place.

"Oh, apartment and job stuff. Liv's got to sell and quit and get general affairs in order before she moves back. I'm her chauffeur" Ravi called from the foot of the stairs.

"Why?" Major asked Liv.

Liv bit her tongue, not wanting to analyze whether his question meant disappointment at her return. "Why did I leave? Why did I come back?" Liv shook her head at him, and held up her hand to stop his opening mouth. "If you hadn't noticed, I haven't really gotten over the whole being undead and having my life stolen from me by a monster who then nearly killed my ex-fiancé, meaning that I had to subsequently cure him along with the aforementioned sociopath thing. This being before I learned that my brother almost died – and since I'm dead now, I couldn't do anything to save him, meaning that he and my mother are now not speaking to me. Not to mention my best friend also hasn't spoken to me and the ex-fiance – who I gave up the only known cure to zombiism for – can't even look at me without wanting to put a bullet through my brain." Liv waived a frantic hand at his waist, where he kept his not-so-hidden gun. "Why would I leave such supportive friends?"

Major forced his hand away. "Liv, I'm sorry, but…you know I can't just – I can't just feel the same way. You _eat_ people."

Instead of compassion in his those eyes, alongside disgust and anger, she saw pity. It broke Liv's heart all over again.

"Major, you were always so perfect – you still are. You gave me…my happiest time and you still represent a life that I would love to get back to, someday, if Ravi can find a cure. But I'm not perfect, anymore."

The acceptance was clear on his face. He'd finally accepted that they were over. Even though Liv knew it was impossible to be more dead than she already was, for the moment she felt like someone had ripped out her heart. She still wanted him to fight for her and to hold her and give her that cute smile she could sink into with a kiss.

She had to brush past him to meet Ravi near the door. She didn't look back, not because she was okay with anything that had just happened with Major, but because she didn't want him to see how bad this was hurting her and that dead girls _do_ cry.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ravi asked as stared down the road when they got in the car. He peeked at her.

"I've been thinking that maybe the mystery guy from Ruby Circus has something to do with this. Maybe I was asking too many questions and he meant to kill me."

"What I _meant,_ was do you want to talk about Major?"

"No," she said decisively. "I want to find out who's killing these kids."

"Procrastination. Lovely thing." Ravi kept his eyes forward this time. "But you know those 'kids' are our age."

"I feel old." Liv stared out the passenger window.

"Probably grandma."

"Yeah." Liv let her forehead hit the cool, air-conditioned glass of her window. "Probably."


	4. Have You Seen this Brain?

"I don't think I really belong here, Liv."

And Ravi didn't. His tweed and plaid getup, along with a distinct lack of black, made him stick out like a sore thumb.

Liv felt a wave of irritation and disgust at the guy who clearly didn't fit in, and knew that it wasn't her, but the last of Jeremy's brain. They'd stopped at her tiny apartment so she could change and put on her makeup. "Go back to the apartment!" She yelled over the thumping base.

"Liv, I can't leave you. You have junkie brain, you're vulnerable," he shouted in her ear.

Liv worked her jaw. Loud as it was in the club, a direct yell to the eardrum did not feel good. "Go buy some clothes, then, Ravi! I'll wait for you here." Liv could feel her buzz starting and smiled just a little as her irritation lessoned to a minor annoyance.

"But if that meathead from before is here –"

"I'll be fine!"

Two people slipped between the small space between them.

"Liv!" Ravi called out. She could barely make out his face as they got further apart and his features started blending into the flashing red and blue lights.

"Go!" She yelled, before she was caught up in the crowd.

It wasn't long before she found herself swaying in the arms of a stranger, letting him feel a good portion of her backside, stuck in a slow sway despite the pounding beat. Even so, it was less invasive than the dance with Blaine – or whoever it had been. It was a relief, even if this guy was a worse dancer. She sighed, but that made her dizzy and she tripped further into his arms. She decided bad dancing was a fun all of its own. The floor was spinning and tilting for her.

He led her off the floor to an empty standing table, but before they were free of the crowd, a dancer slammed into Liv's side.

The guy pulled her the last few feet free. "Sorry," he said, using it as an excuse to tug her too close now that they weren't being pushed into each other in the midst of the others. "This club can get a little crazy." He looked around and Liv could tell- or maybe it was Jeremy telling _her_ – that this guy wasn't a lifer. Not here, anyway. The dark clothes and pissed expression were a phase or sheer curiosity, not a way of life like it was for many of them.

She looked at him, full lips and somber eyes, and knew he wouldn't be much use. She needed someone deep into this subculture. She'd talked to dozens of guys and girls just like him. But the high was hitting her too fast. She needed to rest a moment anyway.

"Jane," she held out her hand, but ended up tipping into him. She giggled as she kept hold of his chest to steady herself. The name wasn't an original choice. It felt less like she wasn't firing on all cylinders and more like her cylinders were doing the polka and leaping out of her brain completely.

"Daniel." He put one hand over hers on his chest and the other around her back to her waist. "Are you okay?" His eyes held more amusement than concern.

"Dandy, Dan." She giggled again. "So, do you come here often?"

"Often enough." It seemed like a lie. "You?"

"Oh, this is just the closest club to my apartment." Liv said, then froze. Wasn't there a rule not to make comments about where you live to strange men, lest they get the idea that one was interested in taking them home?

"And where is that?"

"Just a few miles away." Liv said in a chirp. She certainly wouldn't say it was accessible in mere moments. "This club really does have a lot of weirdoes," she said, changing the subject.

"Also has some pretty ladies." Daniel touched her cheek.  
"Whoa!" Liv tottered a bit and he steadied her.

"Careful," he said.

"My knight is here, I don't need to be careful!" Liv laughed. She still didn't have a great knack for undercover interrogation. The most she'd done so far was manage to talk to non-lifers like Daniel, or people like Jeremy, who she clearly hadn't asked the right questions.

"Hey, do you know Jeremy? He makes the rounds here and I think I got a bad batch. Average height, skull tattoo on his neck?" Liv tried to make it sound casual.

Daniel was shaking his head. "Sorry, Janey. I get my pot from an old high school buddy. You wanna go back to my place and have some?" His hand moved further down Liv's backside.

"Sure," Liv breathed down his neck. "Let me go get us a couple of drinks before we go." He thought she was talking about weed. He wouldn't be of any use.

She started to pull away, but he kept hold of her arm. "I'll go with."

"It's fine." Liv used a bit of zombie strength to slip free of his grip and get lost in the crowd. Her nights usually ended when she couldn't keep dodging all of the guys or girls she'd questioned. She hoped she could get a few more people before that happened tonight.

When she got to the bar, she could swear she caught a reflection of Blaine. He had wiggled his fingers at her and sipped a pink and orange drink through a tiny straw, but it had only been a second and when she turned around, no one was there.

If Blaine had something to do with this - she didn't care about the consequences - she would take him down. She'd hoped the cure would do that, but if he was up to something again, she was the only one who would be able to find out. She put that idea on hold and concentrated on finding who was murdering Jeremy and the others. She wouldn't be surprised if Blaine happened to be involved,but she needed to follow what she knew, first.

She bobbed deep in to the crowd, feeling confident Dan wouldn't find her for a while and trying to peer over the crowd to get a glimpse of Blaine. It didn't take long for a tall guy with long lanks of dull blonde hair to wrap his arms like a vise around her, almost lifting her off the floor as he danced.

She tried to motion that they should go to the bar and get a drink, but he wasn't interested in communication. His eyes were still closed and his head thrown back and he held her so tight. She was more familiar with his anatomy than she had been when she'd lost her v-card to her first boyfriend.

She tugged on his long hair to get his attention and kept it simple. "Drinks." She yelled up.

He panted and nodded as his height allowed him to easily navigate through the miniscule gaps in the crowd.

Gangly guy didn't bother with small talk or even asking her what she'd like, so Liv tried to do the same. She wanted away from Octopus arms as soon as possible.

"You know Jeremy?" She asked loudly as she accepted a "Blood Hawaiian" from him.

"Who?" He asked, even louder, as one hand already found its way back to her side. It wasn't as loud near the bar, but it was still crowded, and just a step down from shouting.

"Jeremy! He gets the party favors and stuff, you know, for a good time!"

"You don't need drugs to have a good time, sweetheart, not with Big Dick Darren!" He howled as his other hand busied itself with becoming acquainted with her insides.

Liv was glad she'd worn her black skinny jeans instead of the leather miniskirt as she tried to disentangle herself without causing a scene.

But Darren was proving troublesome and Liv noted with horror that a suspiciously hoover-esque pair of lips were making the foot and a half descent to her face.

Just as she was starting to zombie out, she felt someone take her drink and noticed that some of the red liquid splashed into his open mouth. But most of it landed in his hair and across his face.

Liv gave a startled look to the woman who was now at her other side. She was just as tall as Derek, but even thinner, with dark wavy hair and enough spiked metal studs covering her black leather vest, pants and shoes so as to have no question as to who she was: someone you don't fuck with. Her empty cup was in the other woman's hand.

"She said no, asshole."

Darren was gaping at her like a fish, but spared a quick glance at Liv. "No, she didn't." His arm tightened on Liv's bicep.

Her mystery savior took the other arm and in her drugged state, Liv found it almost comical. She must look so small and weak to them. Neither knew she could easily end both of them. And eat their brains. _Mmm._ Liv groaned to herself imperceptibly before snapping out of her thoughts. Was she getting zombie munchies?

"Well, then, _I'm_ saying no." One skinny leg flew up between Darren's. Liv was released so fast she was practically spring-loaded into the girl's arms. Liv tried not to think about the metal spikes on the woman's platform high heels, but she couldn't' help but spare a wince when the guy doubled over. After all, she'd just eaten boy-brains earlier and there was bound to be some residual sympathy pain.

The woman led her away from the crowd and DJ, towards the back corner of the club, her height easing the navigation. "My name's Shontelle," she said in a sweet voice. You could almost have a normal conversation in the back of the club.

"Uh, thanks for the save." Liv smiled back.

Shontelle smiled and moved a little closer. "Is Jeremy your boyfriend?" She toyed with the ends of Liv's hair.

"What? How did you know –?"

"I heard you back there." Shontelle's face inched closer, and her body pressed into Liv, reminding her of both Darren and Dan before her.

"Jeremy is just my dealer," Liv could feel the spikes scraping against the skin she'd left bare.

"I know him. Haven't seen him in a while."

"Oh. Well, I'll just…"

Shontelle's lips and nose were in her hair now, sniffing and nuzzling her. "But I might have something you're interested in."

One of her hands came to Liv's face to gently caress her chin and lips with her thumbs. Somehow the slow, delicate way Shontelle was touching her was unnerving her more than Darren's roughness.

"I don't…" Everything went black for a moment and Liv swayed as s rush took over her head.

"How about it, do you want to be my dark kitten?" Sharp, black nails held her chin in place and Liv could taste the alcohol and smoke on Shontelle's breath as she spoke into her mouth

 _Dark kitten?_ "No," Liv started backwards, and was caught off guard when Shontelle gave a sharp thrust away from her. Liv stumbled so hard she fell before the feet of a group just entering.

"You shouldn't have done that." Shontelle was just about to advance on Liv again, but the crowd, anxious to get in, stepped around them and gave Liv just enough time to get up on her shaky feet and put some distance between them.

Wanting very badly to call it a night, despite the tingle and exhilaration now rapidly spreading through her brain and body thanks to Jeremy's frontal lobe, Liv Settled in the opposite corner from where she saw Shontelle, but close enough to see Ravi when he came in.

Liv sat down in a booth next to some other people who paid her no attention and let her forehead rest against one palm. She felt completely spent, but couldn't help how good it felt to be here, in Jeremy's scene, listening to the kind of music he liked and strung out on some of the best stuff she'd – _he'd_ – ever had. It was a killing dose, that much she knew, but the part of her that was Jeremy was enjoying the monumental rush and flush.

"Hey, you okay?" Liv looked up to see someone who looked almost as out of place as Ravi. "I saw what happened back there."

"Fine." Liv flashed her teeth. "Thanks."

"Marv." He held out his hand and Liv shook it.

Another vision of Marv appearing before her. _Please, please, I'm begging you for another hit._ Marv was shaking on his knees, sweating, and his eyes were red-rimmed, but Jeremy turned away. _Sorry bro, no pay, no play._

"You okay?"

Liv jerked out of the fragmented, painful vision to see Marv staring at her. "Fine, just – I'd been hoping to find a friend tonight. Jeremy." She'd been lying about Jeremy being her dealer, but her ideas must have been pretty close to reality.

"Oh, you know Jerry? Me, too."

Liv instantly hated the nickname and knew what Jeremy must have thought of it. "He was gonna give me something."

"Sounds like him." Marv laughed. "So, I've seen you here a few times. Been here long?"

"Couple months." Liv said, playing with someone's abandoned coaster. He made no move to get closer.

"Got family in the area?"

"Don't have much family anywhere." Liv said slowly. It struck her as a red-light question. She examined him a little more. He looked pretty pathetic, but if he knew Jeremy, he might be her break to the case.

Marv twitched. You're better off. Only thing families are good for is judging and disowning ya."

Liv pulled her cheeks up a little in an attempted smile and tried to look desperate. "Jeremy was sort of – he was helping me through it, in his way."

"Yeah, sure. I get it. I've been there. I know Jerry. We got some of the same techniques, you know?"

Liv tried to look at him with bright eyes. And her interest wasn't entirely feigned. "Yeah? Could you get me what he does?"

"I got better." Marv promised, glancing toward the exit. "Why don't you come with me? Got some at my place."

"You don't have it here?"

"Don't exactly bring it to the club, sweetheart."

"How do I know I can trust you?"

"Look, you want some good shit or not? Just follow me and my friend –" he jerked his head to the door where an older woman was waiting near the exit. She had dark eyeliner and curly brown-red hair and wore a long coat with a sweater and jeans.

"Is that your friend or your mom?" Liv snarked.

Agitated, Marv rose from the table. "Whatever."

The tightening in her throat and the drop in her stomach were real as she fought the panic of not getting _more_. She jumped from the table and grabbed his arm, letting him lead her to the woman.

There was a momentary concern at facing two unknown, possible murderer drug dealers, but Liv reminded herself hat one of the few perks of zombiedom was that she could probably handle an old lady and a druggie.

The older woman said nothing to Liv, just headed their little party out of the door.


	5. Play Your Drug Game

**A/N: Written before the zombie!sex question was answered. ~AL**

* * *

Liv wondered what would happen when a zombie and a human engaged in coitus. Was the exchange of bodily fluids enough to change them? Or did condoms protect from STDS _and_ zombiism? She didn't think these two could do much to her, but on the off chance she wasn't able to fight them, it could end very poorly for them.

She tried to keep her head down and shuffle as she thought about the man and the strange older woman she was currently going off with. She tried to look lost and compliant as she followed the two into the hotel room.

It wasn't difficult. Her head was still pounding in time with the music she'd left behind and her muscles were exhausted from the drugs – as if they had all pooled in her arms and legs and left her head feeling horribly hollow. She'd need more soon – she tried to get the thought out of her head. It wasn't hers. It couldn't be hers.

The car ride hadn't helped, she was sure. They'd wobbled to the motel in an old Toyota truck with shot shocks. She'd had to sit in the middle between them as the vehicle hadn't come equipped with a backseat. The combination of height, movement and claustrophobic conditions along with her already drug-addled mind had Liv almost spilling her guts out into the old, greasy McDonald's bag she found beneath her feet. She felt like there was an entire platoon in her head instead of just her and Jeremy.

All in all, her strung-out druggie act was very convincing, because it was much less of an act than Liv would have liked.

They had stopped when they came to a rundown and near-deserted motel. The woman must have gotten the room earlier because she didn't stop at the office, but pulled out a key and let them in to the small, dingy room. The light in the motel room, though dim, was better than that of the club, the parking lot or the truck. Liv took in her red dress, dull auburn hair and dark eyeliner. She almost looked familiar; she definitely looked like she'd seen sharper days.

"Why such a faraway place? Behind the club would have been fine," Liv reasoned, tugging at her skirt. Marv seemed in a much better move than she was now that he knew whatever they were doing would happen soon. He plopped on the bed and reached for the phone.

"No," the woman said. "I don't want any interruptions."

Liv thought she was answering her, but realized she was speaking to Marv when she pulled the phone from his hands. "What exactly is going on here?" Liv asked cautiously. She'd settled on the chair in the corner and tried to make herself look as small and nonthreatening as possible. "I thought you said this was just a score."

Marv actually smirked at her. "Better. Melissa said first one's _free_. If we like the stuff, we buy more."

So, the woman's name was Melissa. "Why would you do that?"

Liv directed the question at the woman, but Marv again answered. "She needs to build up a client base, isn't that right, Mel?"

Liv wasn't sure if that was a line he was fed or if that's how drug dealers really built up a client base. Either way, she didn't miss the way Melissa flinched at the nickname. The woman largely ignored him as she set her duffle on the nightstand next to the bed. She pulled out two needles with a dark brown substance in them and set them on the table.

"I don't think I've ever seen anything like that before," Marv said, a little unsure of himself now. "What did you say it was again?"

The woman didn't speak to them, just continued preparing things on the table before her, with her back still turned to them.

"What is it?" Liv asked.

"It's supposed to be heroin. She promised me she had it!" He stood up and vibrated at the other woman. She didn't look impressed.

"Does it matter?" Melissa finally turned around and Liv saw that she had a gun. She pointed it at Marv. "Sit."

He did, the shock on his face telling Liv all she needed to know. He'd never been a part of the murders taking place. Liv was beginning to like her 'wing-it' plan less and less.

It was Liv's turn to face the gun as Melissa swung it around. "Get on the bed. Next to him." Melissa's hand jerked violently to indicate where, as if her words weren't quite clear enough.

Liv walked slowly to the bed. A small smirk lifted the corner of her mouth. She should probably be more frightened. If Melissa got a shot off to her head, she wouldn't be waking up again.

"What is going on?" Marv had graduated to scraping his nails across the skin of his arms. Liv could see small dots of blood sticking to hairs that stood on end.

Melissa tossed each of them a syringe. "You can do each other or yourselves. Either way – I don't care."

Marv instinctively grasped the syringe, but looked at Liv with what little preservation the drugs had granted his brain. Liv looked at him, trying to decide the best way to get the human out alive.

"Hurry up, kiddos. I don't want to be here all night."

Liv pushed the syringe from her lap and to the ground. "Why should I?"

"So I don't have to." She took a step closer to Liv and the gun noticeably raised to Liv's head. Liv swallowed. "It's more poetic that way, don't you think?"

Her last meal had seemed like it had been ages ago, and having a gun pointed at her was starting to make her very angry. The smirk disappeared.

Melissa looked Liv in the eyes and Liv had never seen such hatred. Not even from Major when he had found out. "You people do this to yourselves, you know. And you hurt everyone else along the way. You all deserve to die."

She could have been talking about zombies. Liv raised one hand slowly for the gun. "You don't have to do this. We didn't _do_ anything–"

"Be quiet." It wasn't a shout, but the quiet way her voice shook with anger made Liv's eyes start to itch. "You better start stabbing before I decide to be a little more impatient." She saw Liv look at her unflinchingly and decided to point the gun at Marv.

Liv ground her teeth together. She was willing to risk her life, such as it was, but not his. She offered her arm to Marv. He took Liv's hand and pulled up a sleeve to bare a vein. He was shaking; fear, regret, and withdrawal were as plain as his sweaty fingers as they slipped on the plunger. "I'm sorry." The needle went in.

Liv had time to stop him, but she held still. She told herself it was because if the woman thought she was dead, Liv might have an advantage. But Liv's breath also caught, her heart beat quickened. She _needed_ whatever was in that needle.

He pulled away and threw the needle to the ground. He was making small keening noises now, watching her with wide, terrified eyes. "I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. She–she picked you out of the crowd, asked me to talk to you. I didn't know. It's my fault, I didn't know!" He had begging, wet eyes.

"Good job, Marvin." Mellissa's praise sounded almost motherly. "Now, Jane, wasn't it? It's your turn." She trained her gun on Liv again. "He killed you, it's only fair."

Liv could feel herself getting dizzier with each heartbeat. She wasn't sure she could sit up straight much longer, might already be in the process of falling, wanted to close her eyes. Were drugs supposed to be this quick? "No." It sounded like breath, like air. It didn't mean anything to Melissa. It was starting to mean less to Liv. She'd do anything…

Melissa laughed. "He might almost survive. He's got a tolerance, I'm sure. But you? Probably could have gotten rid of you with a quarter of a dose. Come on, now. Return the favor." She picked up the other syringe and put it into the hand of the bare, dosed arm that lay in Liv's lap.

"Why – why is it important to you – that," Liv swallowed as her vision turned smoky, "that you don't just kill us yourself. Why make us – make us do -they-the- _this_?"

"It's your fault."

Liv started to feel very hot in the smoky room, like there had to be a fire. She found herself nodding to Melissa though she didn't understand. She shook and realized despite the heat of the room she was cold. "What, ahhs, happens –happening to me?" She felt herself fall back on the bed as her eyes rolled up.

Melissa then focused the gun on Marv again. "C'mon kiddo. You're gonna have to administer your own last dose. She was selfish."

He was reaching for the syringe even as he shook his head. "Please, please don't make me. I can't do it." He was staring down the barrel of a gun as he palmed the barrel of a syringe.

"Sure you can, honey."

Liv could hear, but she was having trouble holding onto the present. She told herself that she couldn't die, not from this, but her thoughts kept going everywhere. At the sound of Melissa's voice, Liv remembered – something. The sound of her voice – they were younger. She was sweeter, and loving. Liv could feel her hug, the room was filled with pink light like clouds. It was a memory Liv had never had. _Not hers_ , she tried to tell herself, _not hers_. But it was much better than the motel room.

"Mom," Liv gasped, not wanting to leave the space, but finding her eyes opening anyway. She saw the gun wavering as she sat up, still following the memory of an unknown nightmare and another mother's comfort. In the memory, Melissa held her close until she couldn't feel her heart pound so hard. In real life, the woman before her put an ominous weapon to her head. The metal of the gun was almost as cold as her skin. The memory faded at its touch. "What is your last name?" Liv asked, afraid she knew. Knew she'd made a mistake somewhere.

"Why would I tell you?" The woman looked at her with hate. "Why did you call me that?"

"I'm dying. What does it matter if you tell me?" She croaked.

"Exactly. It doesn't." Melissa looked at Marv. "Do it. Now."

He put the needle to his skin.

"Johnny. It has to be him. He was the first." Liv gasped desperately.

The woman's eyes filled with tears and her jaw tensed. "You knew John?"

"Did you do this to your own child?" Liv asked, horrified.

She was stunned by the blow from the butt of the gun before she'd even realized Melissa had pulled her arm back to strike. She was knocked back onto the bed. Melissa came over her too fast for Liv to follow when she was already dizzy. "How dare you? It was you people who–" Melissa chocked a sob away and put the gun back on Marv's temple this time. "It's your fault, and now you're all going to feel what my son felt when he died. Do it," she commanded.

Still crying and shaking, Marv plunged the needle in his arm, but had trouble finding a vein. He tried again, and again. Each time Liv had a plan to stop it, but each time she found she couldn't move.

Melissa didn't seem surprised. "At least you won't be alone," she said in a quiet, soothing whisper. "My son was all alone when he died. But I'm here for you. Ah, there it is."

Marvin found a vein. The plunger was half pushed before Liv lunged to knock it from his hands, but her movements were off. She fell on top of him and the needle broke off in his arm. He screamed.

Liv heard Melissa's cry of rage and Marv's scream of pain at about the same time the gun went off and her chest felt like it had been sawed in half.


	6. Into the Brush Now

_Liv_ , someone whispered. She could almost believe that cliché, the one about hearing voices on the wind. Except, she'd been inside, hadn't she?

 _Liiiiv. OoooLiiiviiaaa_ , it sang, drawing out the vowels in her name.

She tried to open her eyes, to wake up, but it _hurt._

 _She'll be back soon to make sure you're both dead._

Her eyes flickered open to the young man across from her. He was unconscious. He needed the hospital. She'd be okay, but she couldn't – had to hurry, but she was so tired... A head, a blurry, white-haired head appeared over hers.

"Blaine? What are you doing here?"

He was kneeling next to her. She was on the floor like Marv. She didn't remember deciding to nap on the floor.

 _Maybe I'm here to check out the competition._

Right. The drugs. He dealt in drugs, too. She tried to focus on him, but he was hazy and her eyes couldn't stay still.

 _But maybe I'm here for you, Olivia._

His hand went to her hair and she could hardly feel him touch it. Like his hand was little more than a breeze. She hated how dry her hair seemed now – white and dead like the rest of her. But he seemed to like it just fine. Her eyes were slipping closed again. They burned but she tried to keep them open.

 _And maybe I'm only here because you want me to be._

What was that supposed to mean? Her eyes closed on their own.

"You don't have a lot of time, wake up!"

The last words were like a hiss and Liv felt a sharp tug on her brain – her scalp? Her _hair_ – where Blaine's hand had been. She shot up, alert and eyes now red, but she was alone, save for still body on the floor.

Until the jiggling lock signaled Melissa's return.

* * *

The next time she opened her eyes she really was outside. There was another man standing over her, brandishing what looked like a large tree limb.

"Ravi? Oh, my head."

He dropped the club. "Liv, oh thank god." He gently took hold of her neck and felt around it lightly with the fingers of his left hand. His eyes flashed to hers, double checking, before he leaned closer to examine her head as he gingerly moved it from side to side. "Everything seems to be in working order," he said tightly.

Then, he surprised Liv by jerking her into a hard hug that was less than professional after his gentle administrations. And it was so much better than the way the people in the club kept grabbing at her. She tried to put her arms around him, but couldn't quite get her arms to work.

"I'm so glad you're alright, Liv."

"Me, too," she said, smiling weakly, her head nestled between his shoulder and forearm. She finally felt her muscles slacken as she relaxed into the hug. Then came the pain. "I'm not feeling so great."

He let her go and she fell back limply. She tried to lift her head, but it rolled back down when she tried to keep it up. "Ow." Then, "Why 'ow'?" What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she lift her head?

Ravi shifted nervously.

She tried to sit up again and was abruptly pulled back. "Why am I tied to a tree?"

Ravi knelt and pulled at her ropes excitedly. "Yeah, sorry. You were back to scary zombie Liv. On crack."

"What happened?" Liv asked, stretching her arms once she was free.

"Walk and talk." Ravi motioned her along. "We don't have long before the police show up."

"Ravi." Liv grabbed his arm to turn him so she could face him. " _What happened_?"

"What happened is that you didn't wait for me." He turned his back and started walking through the underbrush once more.

Liv wanted to apologize for the hurt she saw on his face, but he continued.

"I saw you leave with these people – very shady-looking people, I might add – and tried to follow. But that woman drove like a lunatic out of Arkham. I wouldn't have found you, but I saw the direction she was headed and this motel was the only thing for miles."

His pace matched the quick direction of his words. "Breathe, Ravi," she tried to slow him down. Her head still hurt and she was still all dizzy, from the bullet wound or the brains, she didn't know.

He turned around to glare at her where she was leaning against a tree. "I found you, Liv. Found you all bloody and zombie-like. That woman was out cold and you were about to help yourself to some fresh, juicy cranium fruit."

"Oh. Is she –?"

"No, because I, me, the guy you ditched, distracted you, called the police and told the dispatcher just enough to get them out here while leaving out the zombie stuff. I didn't much mention the zombie loose in the woods behind the motel, not sure how they would've taken it."

"Thank y –"

"But right now, Olivia Moore, _they_ are on their way and _you_ still look like a gunshot victim. So, would you _please_ move your _arse_?"

Liv took off after him when he turned again. It took longer than she would have thought to get to the parking lot where a crowd was gathering and gawking. It was mostly motel employees and guests, with only a couple cop cars, but she heard more in the distance. Ravi jerked her behind his car so she wouldn't be seen.

He fished out a plaid button-down from his car's open window. It was the same one he was wearing earlier. Liv thought he might have liked to put it back on, but a new shirt would go a long way toward making her look less like a corpse. She took in his current outfit. He was wearing black jeans and a leather vest that, although buttoned up, still left quite a lot of chest and arm exposed. No eyeliner, but he had spiked his dark hair up quite a bit.

Liv burst out laughing.

"That better be the blood loss laughing."

She took the shirt from him, still giggling, and stripped out of the tight black corset top. Ravi's eyes dropped down to her pink bra and bare stomach and he promptly turned around.

Liv doubted she was very sexy with blood covering her pasty midsection and – Liv groaned – a bullet still sticking out from between her ribs. No wonder he'd looked away so quickly.

Ravi turned back around at her groan. "Are you alright?"

"Could you–" Liv motioned at her midsection.

"Is that a bullet?!"

"Stop being such a nerd and get it out of me."

"That's what she said."

Liv glared.

"Bad timing, right." He bent so his face was at wound-level and whistled. "Hold on."

His fingers traced the flesh of her stomach around the injury. His hands were warm and they made her aware of just how cold the night was. She shivered.

And then, with two deft fingers, he pried the bullet from flesh that had already partially closed over it. A bit of blood oozed out, but congealed quickly. She pulled the shirt on over her head. It was too big, and likely looked ridiculous with the rest of her makeup and black leather mini, but Liv hoped it read more as a statement than as suspicious. She made a knot in the shirt over the wound, both to make it more fashionable and so that the extra fabric padded the gunshot hole in her stomach.

"Feel free to keep the shirt," Ravi quipped as he tossed the bullet into the ashtray of his car, wiped his hand on his pants, and started walking back to the motel room. The sirens were getting closer. "Now it's your turn to tell me what happened."

"That's Melissa Reitz, mother of the first victim."

"Was she investigating the murders, too?"

Liv sighed. "The closest I can figure is Johnny Reitz overdosed on his own, his mom, Melissa, went crazy with grief and anger. She started killing the people she viewed as responsible for corrupting Jeremy."

"That's kind of vague." Ravi didn't look convinced.

"She tried to get me to dose Marvin, the guy over there." Liv pointed to a man on a gurney. "She always did it in twos, so they wouldn't be alone and so there'd be less evidence against her. It was a thing."

"That means you were right about the pattern, Liv." Ravi nudged her.

Liv frowned. "It also means that we haven't found whoever she killed alongside Jeremy Pivons. The girl had red nails." Liv's vision was fading already, but she remembered that hand.

"Well, we'll make sure to tell the police to ask her," Ravi said.

Liv was happy she hadn't killed the woman, but she was worried. "She saw me once I'd turned into a zombie." She had to whisper because they'd gotten closer to the others. "Maybe they both did."

"Who are police going to believe? Crazy, serial killing mum and an addict who was literally dosed during this supposed sighting? Or the respected doctor who works closely with a respected detective?"

"Former doctor who formerly worked closely with aforementioned detective. I left, remember?" Liv watched the ambulance take off.

Ravi gave her a supportive pat on the shoulder. "We're going to have to figure out what to say."

Liv nodded, but bit her lip. "Ravi, I think Blaine was here."

He started to roll his eyes. "Not this again, Liv."

"I'm serious!"

"We've been over this. You were strung out and you imagined the person you hate and want to find most in the world. It isn't out of the realm of possibility."

"It isn't out of the realm of possibility that he was here, either! Where else could these drugs be coming from? This has Blaine written all over it."

"Fine, fine." Ravi rubbed his eyes. "What exactly did he say?"

Liv's brows drew down. "He-he told me to wake up."

Ravi's brows shot up. "I'm sorry, are you applying you weren't even _awake_ when you 'saw' Blaine? Liv, you do realize how crazy this all sounds, right?"

"I–" Liv's arms went around herself. "You're right. It was probably just a dream." She looked down.

Ravi ran his hand up and down her arm comfortingly. "I'm not trying to make you feel bad."

"I know," she said.

He changed the subject by attempting to get their stories straight for when they inevitably went to speak with the police.

She would tell them she was on extended leave in Tacoma because of her family problems, that she'd befriended Jeremy and asked around. That's where Ravi came in. He was helping her talk to people when he'd gotten a call from her that some people had taken her to this motel. She'd been so freaked out that when she got away, she ran off into the woods. She would have to explain that she only wanted to talk to them.

Ravi nodded his satisfaction with the plan and they both approached the detectives.

* * *

The detectives looked like they hadn't believed the story once Liv did tell it, but it was fairly close to the truth. Liv also made sure to tell them that Melissa had confessed so that they could work on getting her to confess officially. If not, Liv's testimony might be the only thing to send her away for attempted murder. Marvin might not be considered a reliable witness because of his past record and current state.

When they finally stopped questioning her and Ravi, her friend led her to his car once more to drive them back. He looked back at her and frowned when he saw her face. "What is it, now? What more could there be?"

"I had a memory in there." Liv stopped before getting in. She looked back to the motel room.

"That does tend to happen with you."

"No, it was different, Ravi."

He finally stopped walking towards the driver's side and looked her in the eyes.

"It was like a _real_ memory. Usually I'm just reliving their last days like a 3D movie, but this…I had Johnny's memory of his mom when he was – he can't have been more than six in the memory, but he was 20 when he died."

"Liv, what's wrong? Why is that bothering you so much? You've experienced worse things." Ravi took her shoulders and looked at her face, but he wasn't reassured by what he saw. "Look, you've had a rough day. Just come back with me."

"I ate his brain a while ago, but I still have the memory. It's as clear as ever." And it had been beyond unnerving to be in the midst of Jeremy's hazy brain only to be inundated by a childhood memory that was clearer than most of her own.

"So?" Ravi shook his head. "So what? It's just a memory."

"What if a part of them never leaves me?" She wasn't crying, but she was close. Like, it-would-only-take-two-glasses-of-wine close.

He pulled her into a hug, at a loss.

"What if there's less of me and more of them every time?"

"Are you forgetting things?"

"It just...feels like I'm so far away from who I was. I'm really never going to be human again, am I?"

"Liv, don't say that." Ravi held her and rubbed her back. "I found a cure once. We can do it again." He held her for a few more seconds before she pulled away.

She winced when she saw some of her black makeup made its way to his bare shoulder. "How did you stop me, anyway? When I was about to eat Mrs. Reitz?" She asked. Despite almost being murdered by Melissa, she still had that memory of closeness. Liv felt stupid for mourning a woman she'd only met through a stranger's memory.

Ravi back away and put his hands up in a placating gesture. "I said, 'here zombie, zombie. Good zombie. Fresh, delicious brains right here.'" He tapped his temple. "'Very smart. And supple.'"

Liv narrowed her eyes and advanced on him. "You did not."

"I did. And it worked. You totally wanted me for my brains." He had backed his way to the driver's side and got into his car.

Liv laughed and shook her head as she followed suit and got in on her side. "And then what happened?"

He started the car. "Well, I ran, of course. And you are _fast_. We should definitely run some tests on that, by the way."

"Ugh, no treadmills!"

He gave a little moue, but continued to relay his adventure. "Then I hit you in the back of the neck with a log I found."

" _What?_ "

"Hey, I avoided the skull region. Mostly."

"No wonder I have such a headache."


	7. Don't Wanna Be, No One, but Blaine

_Great, I've got a grandma brain with depression,_ thought Liv. All the signs were there; she was disinterested, worthless, suicidal, and tired. She finished the rest of her smoothie anyway. Her absolute lack of desire to do _anything_ on this brain warred with how little she would accomplish if she went through the day hungry.

Liv entered the police station and began to wind her way to the interrogation room. Clive was in the hallway getting coffee from the pot near the sink against the wall. They had them everywhere around the station.

He stopped when he saw Liv. Did a double take. Slammed the little Styrofoam cup back down on the utilitarian counter.

"Clive." Liv wasn't sure what to say.

He ran a hand over his mouth, as if he wasn't sure what to say either. He turned a shoulder and Liv thought he would surely walk away, but he stayed. "You left. Didn't say a word."

Liv didn't apologize, but she must have looked pitiful, because before she knew it, Clive was striding forward and hugging her.

"I forgot how hard it was to close cases without a psychic."

Liv started to shake and Clive must have thought she was laughing, because when he pulled away he was smiling. But when he saw a few slow tears streaming down her face he quickly became concerned.

Liv hated that she was crying. Hated especially that she was in the police station while doing it. But Clive was strong and steady. If she could cry to anyone, it would be to him. Her no-bullshit partner. Any second now he'd tell her to knock it off and go cut into some corpses.

Only he didn't. He just pulled her back in. "Ravi told me about your family," he whispered as he gave her back a small, soothing pat.

Liv gathered herself and gave him a smile. "Sorry."

"Hey, don't apologize. Just don't do it again."

"Deal."

"What brings you down here?" he asked. "Not that seeing me isn't reason enough."

"It is, Clive. It definitely is…"

"Okay–"

"I need a favor."

Clive dropped the hands he'd had on her shoulders. "That didn't take long."

"I have to talk to the woman you have in custody." It had been a huge break when Liv found out she'd been transferred to Clive's precinct.

"Absoultely not."

"Clive–"

"You are involved in this case, Liv. What if you have to testify? How would it look if this goes to trial?

"She confessed!"

"And what if she recants?"

"Clive, this is something I have to do."

"She's already saying things that don't add up. And she doesn't have your name, 'Jane,' but I'm pretty sure the jury will be able to make an educated guess when Melissa Reitz gives them the description of the deathly pale, white-haired woman who allegedly attacked her that night."

"You mean after she attempted to commit her–what number was she on, again? Ninth, murder? Does anyone even know how many people she killed?"

Clive ignored her. "She said you survived a point-blank gunshot wound to the chest. Do you even have heartburn?"

"She's crazy, Clive. She's a lunatic murderer."

"Liv, I'm not letting you in there."

"This is important."

"Why?" Clive asked. "Explain it to me, maybe I can arrange something."

Liv was silent.

"Is this connected to the Meat Cute murders?"

"I'm not sure."

"Then I'm not sure there's anything I can do for you." He didn't sound sorry. He sounded pissed.

"I need to talk to her," Liv begged.

"Tell me why."

Liv stomach twisted. "I can't."

"Why don't you call me when you can? Until then, I don't want to hear it." Clive started walking away.

"Wait, Clive!" He didn't wait. Liv had to run to catch up. She grabbed his arm and he shook her off like she was contagious. She didn't bother to hide her hurt. Nor did she address it.

He looked at her.

"What if I talk through you?"

"What do you mean?"

Liv steeled herself. She'd have to tell Clive something. She decided on the partial truth. "I'm looking for this guy named Blaine. I think he might have been Melissa's source for the drugs. And I think he was behind the Meat Cute thing."

Clive stopped her. "Liv, who is this person?"

"He's a guy. A bad guy."

"Thank you, Sherlock. And here I thought he was a 'missed connection.' Who is he to you?"

"He…he was there the night of the boat party."

"The party where you got hurt and all those people died?" Clive's anger became somewhat redirected.

"Yeah, and I guess – I don't really like to talk about what happened that night."

"I deserve an explanation."

"I know."

"Fine." He paused for a long moment. "Let's do this."

Liv could tell that they were far from being fine, but she wrote out a list of questions for Clive to ask Melissa and went into the viewing room.

* * *

"Where did you get those drugs?" Clive turned to Liv and rolled his eyes at her through the double mirror, twitching the paper just a little at her.

She could just hear him shoot a mental, "Really?" at her. But Liv didn't care if they'd asked Melissa that a thousand times. She wanted to hear the response for herself.

The mother who'd lost her child hadn't raised her head from the desk once since Clive had entered.

"Melissa, I asked you a question."

"Don't remember." She still didn't look up.

Clive circled around so that he was standing behind Melissa. "Did anyone give you the idea to start killing those kids?"

"My lawyer should be here," she said.

"Did you meet anyone selling drugs when you went to find your victims?"

"'Victims.'" She gave a derisive snort.

Clive clenched his jaw. But he remained in control, in his element. "He would have had white hair. Pale skin. Glib attitude."

Melissa didn't answer and Liv felt a chill. Something about the woman's silence was different this time.

Clive noticed it, too. "Melissa?"

"You're describing half the degenerates that frequent those rattraps."

"This man's name would have been Blaine. Blaine DeBeers. Ring any bells?"

Melissa finally raised her head. She was looking at Clive's reflection in the mirror, but Liv was the one standing right there, behind the glass.

"No."

After that, Clive's patience was wearing a little thin. He ushered Liv out of the little room with a hand on her elbow and directed her to the hall.

"Are you escorting me from the premises?" Liv struggled lightly.

"I'm suggesting you get some rest. Strongly suggesting."

"Geez, can't an old woman get some coffee unmolested?"

"Rest."

"I'll get decaf!"

A flex of his jaw sharpened his cheekbones. "Quickly," he warned. He pocketed her list of questions and disappeared around the hall back into the room with Melissa.

She didn't pick up the decaf carafe. Liv busied herself with the coffee, but leaned back from it, trying to get one last glimpse of them. It didn't work.

She was just looking around, wondering whether officers of the law used creamer, and if so, where it was located, when she saw him.

And she was definitely hallucinating, right? Because no way was Blaine's platinum shock of hair bobbing around outside the police station's main set of glass doors. Right?

Liv took off after him.

"Hey! Hey!" Her voice sounded vicious even to her ears.

"Oh, Liv. You caught me outside. How 'bout that?"

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Blaine adopted an exaggerated surprise. "Filing a police report. My business went up in flames, you know."

"This long after the fact?"

"I lost employees." He gave her sad eyes. "I was in mourning."

Liv felt a fist form. "I may be on gloomy Grandma brain right now, but I can still kick your ass. In fact, I think it may give me an edge."

"Liv, c'mon. Do I look like a guy who wants to get physical with a zombie?" He smirked and looked her up and down. "Not that I wouldn't make an exception for you."

"Get your mind out of the gutter, buster!" Liv brandished her drink at him in reproach.

"Ooh, coffee. Thank you." He took it from her hand before she could react. "I've been _obsessed_ with caffeine since turning back into a real boy." He tossed the drink down, but grimaced when it was done. "Wouldn't have killed you to add a little sugar."

"I may kill you."

He pouted and waggled a finger in the space between them. "Then we'd never see where this is going between us."

"Blaine," she ground out, "What are you doing here?"

He slowly walked over to a trash can and tossed it in. "I'm here to make sure that bitch stays locked up, of course."

"What?"

"The lady, the woman, the psycho in there."

"Oh, that's rich," Liv said. "You weren't working with her?"

"Are you kidding? She was killing off my clientele. Even tried to kill me once." He smiled as if barely containing his verve.

"She was a business liability?" Liv could hardly force the words out.

"She certainly wasn't an asset."

Liv crossed her arms in disgust. "Is that why you've been stalking me? What, you just figured I'd do something or die trying?"

"Stalking you?" he asked innocently.

"Yes," Liv said with irritation. "At the club a couple days ago. And last night."

"As flattered as I am you're thinking about me on dance floors and at late-night motels, I don't know what you're talking about." He looked from her to the precinct. "But if you had something to do with that lunatic being locked up…" He waved his hand again, this time from her to the building. "…thanks. Business will be running much smoother because of you."

Liv watched him walk away with a song in his stride. It wasn't until he was out of sight did she remember she hadn't mentioned a motel.


	8. Epilogue

Ravi rushed to other side of the car to open the door for Liv. She was about to remind him that it wasn't a real date, but he took the opportunity to shove a plastic baggie at her. "Here."

Nonplussed, Liv took the baggie. "Yes?"

"Sustenance."

"You made me… _brain chips_?"

Ravi gave her a proud grin.

"And who and why am I eating before dinner? I won't zombie out and eat your mother. Scout's honor."

"You haven't eaten a boy scout yet."  
"Give me time."

Ravi rolled his eyes.  
"Seriously, Ravi. Where did you get these and why?"

"I've been saving them for a special occasion. Dehydrated and sealed for freshness."

"Where did you even get a dehydrator?"

"I like to make my own banana chips, with a little bit of brown sugar…"

"You used the same thing you eat out of? That's disgusting!"

"I cleaned it," he defended. "Besides, you're the one who actually does the brain eating."

"I'm not hungry."

"I added super special yummy tongue-burny spices," he needled.

"Not right now."

"Liv, this could revolutionize your intake of brains."

"How?"

Ravi looked at her in disbelief. "Hello, non-perishable brain snacks? Great for long road trips?"

"And why do I have to revolutionize right now? Don't I deserve a little warning?"

"Yee-es," Ravi hedged. "But it's not every day a perfect, demure Indian wife passes through my morgue. I had to seize the moment!"

Ah, the real reason appears. "Ravi–"

"Remember, Liv. This is the woman who didn't like Peyton, arguably the perfect woman. I'm trying to help you. And me. I'm also trying to help me."

"Exactly how long have you been waiting to ambush me with this?"

"A long time. Now, come on, crunch crunch." He waved a hand at the bag and looked at her expectantly.

Liv rolled her eyes, but popped a few chips in and began to eat them carefully – she didn't want any brain chips to be in her teeth when she met his mom. "Couldn't you have put a little _more_ flavoring on them?" she complained. Whatever he used needed a serious kick in the ass.

Ravi just pulled her along. "Keep those near in case you get peckish."

Liv pulled away to grab something from the car.

"What is that?" he asked.

"Chocolates, for your mom. They're from this little confectionery my mom always used to take me to. You know, pre-accident and subsequent denial of my existence."

"Liv, you didn't have to buy anything."

But she had already walked up the steps to the door quickly and rung the bell.

The woman who answered was taller than Liv. She didn't know why she had been expecting someone petite, but it actually made more sense that a giant like Ravi would come from tall stock. Liv smiled and held out the present with both hands.

Mrs. Chakrabarti's shrewd appraisal lifted and she smiled. "Olivia." She pulled Liv into a hug. "Nice to meet you. That is a lovely dress." Her accent was similar to Ravi's, but included more of an Indian lilt.

Liv smiled and was glad the design was appreciated – it was a dark blue saree-style wrap dress she'd purchased just for this dinner. "Thank you." She slipped off her shoes and allowed herself to be led into the dining room.

"Would you like something to drink, Olivia?"

"Oh, Liv doesn't need anything, mum," Ravi answered.

"Actually, I wouldn't mind a beer, Mrs. Chakrabarti. Ravi's driving."

"My mum probably doesn't have beer, Olivia –"

"Oh, hush. Now that your dad has left me, I can have all the alcohol I want. Spotted Cow or Mac and Jack's?"

"I'll take a Spotted Cow, thanks."

Ravi turned to her and whispered when his mother left to the get the beer. "Mum and dad split up when I was 14. She's still a little bitter."

"As well she should be! If a man promises to love and take care of a woman, then that is definitely what he should do! Women devote themselves to the happiness of their partners and what do they get in return?" Liv could have ranted all night, but Ravi's mom entered and caught the tail end of their conversation.

"Here you are, Liv. I'm so glad my sweet Ravi hasn't found himself another pushover. A good man, a good _husband_ knows his responsibilities! You keep reminding him of them, my dear."

Liv nodded and hid a smile by swallowing a large sip. It was funny to think of Peyton as a pushover. Also, the brain she was currently on might have been a little bit of a lush. "Being a wife involves a lot of sacrifice," Liv included.

"It does! I confined myself to my home to cook, clean, raise his children, and _that man._ He decided he had no time for me when all my time I spent was thinking of him. Is it no wonder I had the affair with Alastair! If my husband had been around more –"

"Mum!"

The woman shook her head in disgust. "Then he decides to leave _me_!"

They sat around the dinner table.

"He sounds like a fool," Liv offered.

"He was." She began piling food on both of their plates.

When she had doled out copious amounts for each of them, Liv recited the prasada, only to look around after and realize they were staring at her. Ravi was shaking his head a little. It had just slipped out without thinking, the lifetime habit of the brain she'd just ingested. "I'm sorry. I – I've been researching Hinduism and, uhm–"

Ravi's mom grasped Liv's hand gratefully. "Thank you," she said "it's been years since I've given thanks for my meals. The small things are so important. And sometimes, so far away from my home country, too easy to forget."

With that, they began eating. Liv had her eye on a bowl of curry with an inviting steam rising from it. She used her right hand to raise the small bowl to her lips. It _burned._ She could taste it! She gulped down the entire bowl and belched loudly.

Ravi shot her a look, but Ravi's mother beamed and poured Liv some more.

"Ravi tells me you are open to converting."

Liv nodded. "Yes, it's truly a beautiful religion and lifestyle."

"What is your favorite aspect?"

"Well, I like the gentleness of Hinduism. But if you mean a specific detail, I find Shiva and Parvati particularly compelling." Liv took another sip of her brew.

Mrs. Chakrabarti began to grill Liv in an oral tests of sorts. Liv could answer, could even argue with everything Ravi's mother said. She even started to enjoy it after the woman brought them both two more beers.

She never mentioned Liv's appearance. Liv wondered whether it was out of politeness or acceptance, but either way it felt nice to not be asked for once.

"Mum, this meal had been really great," Ravi began. Liv could tell he was going to broach the subject of leaving. He'd been grinning every time Liv answered one of his mother's questions with obvious depth and knowledge he thought was clearly courtesy of the brain, but he was getting a bid bored.

"Yes, this is really amazing, Mrs. Chakrabarti," Liv added quickly as she had a few more bites from dishes – just as spicy – that she didn't know the names of.

"Please, call me Ruhi, Liv. It is so nice to finally be dining with you."

Liv smiled and grabbed some bread to dip in her curry. "I wish I hadn't been so intimidated! I would have come much sooner if I'd known the food would be so deliciously spicy. Indian restaurants don't do the real thing justice."

"Intimidated? Of me? Ravi, what have been telling this poor thing?" She doted upon Liv. "Are you sure it's not too hot, dear? I can bring you water, if you like." Ruhi got a sly look on her face. "His other girlfriend could hardly take one spoonful."

"Mum!"

Liv choked, but not because the food was too spicy. She was imagining the look on Peyton's face as she politely tried to bear ingesting such a spicy food. Even Ravi had hardly touched his. She laughed politely and put a proprietary hand on Ravi's knee. She watched his mom watch that movement. "I love spicy food, Mrs.– Ruhi. And Ravi told me all about - Peyton, was it?" She tilted her head towards Ravi.

Ravi nodded slightly.

"Peyton is in his past. And I'm thinking more about _our_ future."

"So marriage is not out of the question, then?"

Liv smiled, her brain – the one in her stomach – enjoying the line of questioning. "It is my greatest dream to be married to a loving man. And a doctor at that – well, Ravi…likes to take his time."

"He certainly does! And, dear, may I ask – are you considering children at this point?"

"Mum, stop pestering Liv." Ravi finally spoke up.

She waved an arm. "I will try."

He gave an eye roll, but turned to Liv. "And you stop encouraging it!"

"Oh, so now I'm a villain for trying to be the perfect woman _you_ wanted me to be?" Liv turned to Ruhi. "Men."

The woman giggled with delight. "Oh, Liv, it is going to be so nice to have you around. Let me go get your desserts."

Ravi glared at Liv when she was gone.

"What?" Liv asked. Her cheeks were flushed.

"I wanted her to _like_ you, not adopt you!"

"This is what you asked for!" Liv took another sip.

"You aren't exactly what I was expecting. That woman's brain wasn't what I expecting." He looked off into the distance with a regretful air. "She looked like she'd be so demure, lying there dead."

"Ravi!"

He turned back to her, at a loss. "I am never letting you have that brain again. You know more about my own culture than I do!"

Liv rolled her eyes and shrugged. "It wasn't _completely_ the brain."

"What?"

"I read a couple books on the subject before I came."

" _Why_?"

Liv was going to answer flippantly, maybe something about the fact that she was, at her core, an inherent over-achiever. Her mouth was even open. But at that moment, Ruhi arrived with the chocolates Liv gave her earlier.

They finished up the night with both Ravi and Ruhi becoming big fans of that little confectionery. Ravi's mom even made Liv promise to take her. Liv worried a little bit at what felt like a betrayal to her own mother, but she was mostly comforted. After all, her own family wasn't even speaking to her. Maybe this was a way she could find a new one. At least until Ravi's little lie fell apart.


End file.
